How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
