You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize