i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
