I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
