Texts From Last Night

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  (916): View more from California

  awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment

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  (916): awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment http://tfl.nu/ypy1
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text

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  (508): I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text http://tfl.nu/al36
  Replies (7) Good night (496) Bad night (3156) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  ...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?

  (585): View more from New York

  hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that

  (516): View more from New York

  is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?

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  (516): ...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year? (585): hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that (516): is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ? http://tfl.nu/juy6
  Replies (139) Good night (7662) Bad night (1074)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.

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  (940): Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented. http://tfl.nu/jb6b
  Replies (810) Good night (12461) Bad night (5722) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.

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  (513): They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is. http://tfl.nu/k34n
  Replies (8) Good night (3721) Bad night (677) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid

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  (203): I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid http://tfl.nu/8jas
  Replies (9) Good night (6679) Bad night (771) Order T-Shirt
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  (980): View more from North Carolina

  when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.

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  (980): when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space. http://tfl.nu/ayzt
  Replies (14) Good night (5887) Bad night (675) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business

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  (252): My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business http://tfl.nu/rc0p
  Replies (5) Good night (2479) Bad night (850) Order T-Shirt
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  (559): View more from California

  there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.

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  (559): there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap. http://tfl.nu/jpym
  Replies (11) Good night (2430) Bad night (751) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."

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  (215): What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller." http://tfl.nu/x4em
  Replies (21) Good night (2775) Bad night (797) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.

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  (504): Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted. http://tfl.nu/mn0k
  Replies (14) Good night (2002) Bad night (589)
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  (714): View more from California

  Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.

  (1-714): View more from California

  This is why we're friends.

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  (714): Mandatory 420 Adventure Time. (1-714): This is why we're friends. http://tfl.nu/cnbi
  Replies (5) Good night (1718) Bad night (413) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow

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  (203): The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow http://tfl.nu/7yz5
  Replies (7) Good night (519) Bad night (874) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...

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  (651): Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad... http://tfl.nu/vlpv
  Replies (2) Good night (266) Bad night (781)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.

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  (712): You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home. http://tfl.nu/2ggi
  Replies (2) Good night (718) Bad night (174) Order T-Shirt

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