I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
