i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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