Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
