plz talk dirty to me
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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