I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
