i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize