you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
