how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Randomize
