my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I supernannyed him into submission
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
