covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
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The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
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So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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