I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
