He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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