And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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