For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize