Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
