Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
