I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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