Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The struggles of a small town man whore
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
