When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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