I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
