I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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