watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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