So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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