There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
