Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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