He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
