I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
