I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize