never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
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