We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
