There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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