The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
