I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
