you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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