a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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