Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize