i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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