Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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