I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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