STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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