Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.

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(586): View more from Michigan

You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.

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(614): View more from Ohio

she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.

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(563): View more from Iowa

My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.

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(434): View more from Virginia

For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.

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(678): View more from Georgia

I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.

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