I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
