She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
