Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
