he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
