u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
