I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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