I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
