Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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