Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
