4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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