its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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