we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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