where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm both gender and math confused
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
