He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My pussy is not your playground.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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