Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius