I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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