Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs