Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?

  (1-250): View more from British Columbia

  tequila

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub? (1-250): tequila http://tfl.nu/yi12
  Replies (12) Good night (5304) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Who pooed in my magic bullet?

  (1-613): View more from Ontario

  Sorry the bathroom was being used.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Who pooed in my magic bullet? (1-613): Sorry the bathroom was being used. http://tfl.nu/qp1c
  Replies (9) Good night (872) Bad night (4667)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex http://tfl.nu/q8xg
  Replies (28) Good night (4490) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out. http://tfl.nu/306z
  Replies (6) Good night (2462) Bad night (1383)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow http://tfl.nu/cscz
  Replies (13) Good night (4593) Bad night (926)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full! (715): I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering. http://tfl.nu/shs1
  Replies (5) Good night (2340) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF http://tfl.nu/rz1g
  Replies (19) Good night (3954) Bad night (1581)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun http://tfl.nu/exga
  Replies (0) Good night (1197) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier. http://tfl.nu/u9m6
  Replies (15) Good night (3105) Bad night (1011)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out. http://tfl.nu/slt6
  Replies (8) Good night (493) Bad night (1442)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts http://tfl.nu/kck3
  Replies (9) Good night (2084) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL

  (1-714): View more from California

  Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL (1-714): Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky! http://tfl.nu/0qet
  Replies (5) Good night (1003) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary. http://tfl.nu/khbo
  Replies (5) Good night (1016) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done. http://tfl.nu/68sv
  Replies (2) Good night (795) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me.. http://tfl.nu/9pe5
  Replies (0) Good night (501) Bad night (346)

Randomize