I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
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