i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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