The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
