DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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