I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
