Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
