You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
