Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
