So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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