I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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